Friday, April 27, 2012


My coworkers are dieting. They are bitching about how hungry they get between their properly portioned lunches and breakfasts.

It’s making me feel this strange mix of “Bitches, please: I didn’t eat for 60 hours straight this week,” and “Bitches, please: uh, please forgive me for being a bitch and feeling all superior to your NORMAL BIOLOGICAL PROCESSES.” 


P.S. 124. Still fat. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Man. Life really got to me over the past week, ya dig?

*~*NeWaYz*~* (that took way longer to type than I thought it should’ve. how much time did we waste doing that on AOL, y’all?! Oh, capricious youth!)

My weight as of Saturday morning was 125 on the dot. I forgot to do my measurements because of life and weekend morning mental fog. I’ll get around to it at some point. Probably.

Saturday, April 7, 2012


After lamefast, my stats are as follows:

thighs: 20”
hips: 37” (i grew a big ol’ booty)
waist: 26”
tittaaaaays: 36”

weight: 127

No ketosis yet, dammit. But, I was jamming on mad carbs for a while there. I bet I’ll be in ketosizzzz by tomorrow morning. Positive thoughts. Hooray.

Thursday, April 5, 2012


Oh, the numbers game. Shit’s ‘bout to get intense up in here: 

CW: 130 pounds (jesus!). 
LW: 96
HW: somewhere in the mid 140s? (also: jesus!) 
GW: 111

These are my measurements from when I was at 111 about three years ago:

thighs: 19”
hips: 34”
waist: 24”
tittaays: 32.5”

That sounds way better than where I’m at right now.


So, I weighed myself this morning.

130 pounds. 10 pounds up from the last time I weighed myself, like, a month ago.


I haven’t weighed that much in probably five years.

So, I have a plan:

  • Get my ass the fuck into ketosis ASAP;
  • Get my ass the fuck into regular exercise ASAP, and;
  • Get my ass the fuck into a manageable and comfortable size using the above means. 

Easy-peasy. I hope.

I want to lose at least three pounds by this time next week. Keepin’ it riiiil. I used to be able to drop weight like nobody’s business. But, now I’m all old and shit. True story.